During the past ten weeks, as I’ve been forced to lie on my back for hours on end, I’ve had the pleasure of spending time in thought, prayer and contemplation. The little table by my bed has held many treasures. I’ve often picked up a little book to gaze at, turn pages and reflect upon. Recently, I made an interesting discovery.  Little notebooks and booklets must be very important to me. I possess lots of them.  

There’s my little Australian women’s diary 2013. I haven’t had much need to fill its calendar dates so far this year. But I’ve still found plenty of of use for it. I’ve prayed through each of its blank pages –– offering my year to God. I’ve read the delightful quotes which decorate the bottom of each page. I’ve found joy in its pretty pictures. I’ve loved its glossy, smooth feel. I’ve used its calendar dates to plan my year. The little diary cost me only a few dollars. I believe I’ve already had a good return for the price I paid for it.

Then there’s a beautiful little booklet made by my friend Kate after my first book ‘Enjoying the Journey’ was launched in 2010. She has created a masterpiece. This small book encapsulates a writer’s hopes, dreams, joys and fulfillment. Bible verses, pictures, words, photographs, art-work - they all blend together to make a picturesque whole. What a labour of love! During my time in bed, I have had time to savour it over and over again. To understand the riches in my life through it. To meditate on God’s ways.

(Thank you Kate! Thank you.)

My current prayer diary is a little hardcover booklet painted in purple. I’ve written prayer requests in it as old as twenty two years and as new as today. Each time it gets filled up, I copy all the former requests into a new little booklet, leaving out the already answered prayer requests. I continue to add new requests till the new diary fills up. My prayer diary is precious. I’ve written scripture verses inside which I re-read. I carry it in my bag, so I’m able to pull it out to pray through - in the doctor’s waiting room; while having my lunch somewhere or when sitting in the car while my husband nips out to get something.

I found an old small crumpled grubby little notebook dated April 1975 which I’ve had time to explore this season. It contains poetry I had written as a teenager. The writing inside made me smile. It gladdened my heart to listen to my 17 year old self’s ramblings. To get to know the person I was 38 years ago! That notebook too is very precious.

I have a little navy blue hardcover notebook where I’ve written entries about my Sri Lankan holidays. Its pages hold interesting tidbits of information. A list of gifts I’ve bought for family and friends; things I hoped to do while in Sri Lanka; people I had to meet; foods to buy to take back home; telephone numbers of friends and more. It was a very useful little booklet and its size made it just right to carry around.

One of my newest notebooks is a happy pink with a few interesting patterns on its cover. What does it hold? I’ve called this one “Listening to God – January 2013” and that is exactly what it is. During my post operative period as I’ve tried my best to listen to God – I’ve written down words, sentences, phrases, quotes, Bible verses  - all of which seemed important enough to take note of. I’ve drawn a few pictures inside. It is a book I will continue to dip into to remind myself what God requires of me. I consider it a treasure.

There’s more. I do love my little notebooks. And they each have a special use. In this day and age of smart phones, and pocket sized computers, of kindles and e-Readers, no doubt my enjoyment of little notebooks may sound very outdated. You may think I am rather old fashioned and perhaps I am. But the same commodity that makes those modern gadgets useful is the same commodity that makes my notebooks tick.

And what is that commodity?  WORDS! (And pictures too) Words are the building blocks of a writer’s heart and writer’s life. Words for me are pretty significant. But then, words are significant not just for writers. For readers too. In fact, they are important to all of us human beings.

Words can be used in all kinds of ways, can’t they? Words could be used to simply express one’s thoughts. But mostly they are used to communicate. Communication is something very powerful you will agree. For words could build up but they could also break down.

I wonder how you and I use words? Do our words enhance or do they annoy? Do they make sense or are they drivel? Can others’ trust our words? Do the words we use edify or bring down? Do they hurt or do they heal? Do they build bridges or do they break them? Words are important. Words can be used for good or for evil. Which do I choose?

Today Lord (and every day), let me use words that:

 Bless, help, create, love, reach out, build and heal. 

I was excited. I put on a pair of blue jeans and a pretty colourful blouse. I wore gold studs on my ears; a light gold chain and my little gold cross around my neck. I placed a fancy bracelet on my right wrist and my little watch on the left one. I dabbed a smidgeon of perfume on my neck and my arms. Mmm! I liked its fragrance. I brushed my newly washed hair. I gingerly placed my sand shoe on my right foot, donning it very carefully so I didn’t hurt my foot. Then I slid my left foot into its matching shoe. I gave myself a quick glance in our full length mirror, smiling at myself for good measure.

It was almost time for my friend Anna to arrive. Shouting a hurried farewell to my son, I opened our front door, locked it behind me and started a slow walk down our steep driveway. Yes, a slow and steady descent it was, a right foot that didn’t quite work properly but one astute enough to follow my lead… and eventually I managed it.

It was another triumphant outing in the life and times of Anusha Chandrika Atukorala – one who has been mainly been reclining on her bed for 8 long weeks. As I reached the road, I sat down on a rock to wait for Anna. How fresh the cool air felt against my skin. How musical the breezes as they laughed and danced around our neighbourhood, teasing the trees and making them talk animatedly. The air felt much cooler than it had been for weeks and I enjoyed its exuberant touch – like that of a glad, silken robe around me.

I looked around me breathing a thank you to God for His gifts to me that day. A brand new day; a friend who was taking me out; even the joy of experiencing His creation first hand, something I didn’t do as often as I liked these days. I looked up. Up above on the right were ominous grey clouds, looking as if they were bursting with rain drops. I turned my head to the left. There they were again – more large clouds painted in grey, looking sinister and ugly.

Their boasting had to be just bluster though. After all, the day's weather predictions had assured me a day that was clear and bright. I looked straight ahead of me. There at last was the promise of the beautiful day it would become. No grey clouds – not one. Only sunlight filtering through a few fluffy white clouds – dancing golden beams on a white cotton boat sitting proudly on an expanse of blue. Bright beautiful colours but not even one sliver of grey.

I smiled with God as I heard His message loud and clear. Life is often like that isn’t it? Lots of grey on the left of me. Sickness? Disappointment? Heartache? Strife? Lots of grey on the right of me. Loneliness? Difficult choices? Misunderstanding? Rejection?

But as a follower of Jesus I do possess the best way forward. The way forward may be only a tiny opening in between two large canvases of grey and mist and fuzz. But that’s the way of God. “Narrow is the path to life and few are those who find it” said Jesus.

When we live God’s way – there are times when life bops us hard on the head. Sometimes obedience to Him doesn’t bring short term rewards. Only more pain. Trusting may seem futile even as the grey clouds pile up and the rain drops begin to fall.

But God gently nudges me and lifts me up. He points my face to the best way forward. He asks me not to look at the grey clouds on either side of me. Instead to look ahead – at His path for me. He tells me to glory in the rewards that await me. And to trust Him who is in full control of my future.

He leads me then; the sunshine dancing ahead and new sunbeams lightly touching my skin, their warmth caressing me like a soft puppy as he snuggles contentedly against me.

God whispers in my ear.

“The way forward is right ahead of you. Do not turn to the left or the right.”

Yes, I will go forward, Lord. I will trust you wholly. I will travel with joy.  

With my hand in Yours; my Redeemer, my Lord and my Friend.

As I approached my kitchen sink one morning, I saw something that delighted me! No, it wasn’t that someone had replaced it during the night with a brand new, two-in-one, modern kitchen sink. To all appearances it looked identical to what it had been before. No, it wasn’t that a fairy godmother had washed it beautifully while I slept either. It wasn’t gleaming, shining, lustrous or spotless. It was just my old ordinary kitchen sink.

But as I got close to it, I discovered that many jewelled drops of water created a pretty picture on the stainless steel sink. Small gems of water glistened; patterns emerged. I looked. I saw. I marvelled. I found myself exclaiming in wonder. The next thing I did was to grab my camera. It was time for a few pictures.

Don’t you think the patterns are pretty?

There were big drops and small ones. Oval drops and round ones. One looked remarkably like a sea horse; one resembled the landmass of Australia. There were bigger drops interspersed between smaller ones. There was even one which looked like a little river. I was fascinated. And more – it also spoke encouragement into my heart.

I had worked very hard last year to produce a book that was dear to me. The book’s name? ‘When the Rain won’t stop” – Words of comfort and hope for a troubled heart. I was a finalist (with 3 others) in a Writing Competition and was very excited about it. I wrote it out of my own experiences of life’s stormy seasons. God came through for me during those seasons. Every time. And so I had to share His goodness with the world.

I hoped and prayed that I’d win so I could have it published. But the winner was announced last week. And the winner wasn't me. That made me sad. You see, it’s been well over two years since my first book was published. I have written FIVE additional books since. But not one of them have found a publishing home – as yet! Finding a publisher for them has been as difficult as trying to find a lion, elephant (or even a koala bear) prowling around in my garden. I spent Wednesday in a haze of disappointment and sadness.

By Wednesday evening I knew I needed to stop feeling depressed about it. The thing is – I do know God is in control of my life. My disappointments are often His appointments – to grow me, to mature me and to work His best purposes in my life. I knew I needed to let Him have His way in this too.

As I pulled myself together ("C’mon Anusha. This is only a small glitch in your Writing Adventures”), I decided I’d listen to God. And here’s what happened. Remember my blog last week? I shared that when a door bangs shut in our faces, we often need to stop, take a few steps back, listen to God and change direction. Well, God used my blog to speak to me! Isn’t that funny? Yes, it was time for me too to stop; listen to God and to change direction.

Later in 2013, I hope to start paid part time work outside my home – the very first opportunity in 23 years. Now, isn’t that an exciting step forward? What’s even more special about it is that it’s a job I’m passionate about – helping people, dreaming dreams, being part of my church’s outreach to our community. My losing this competition made me realise that perhaps I needed to place my Writing in a different drawer to where it had been held last year. No more in the topmost drawer of my working life. I realised that CareLink needed to be in that topmost drawer for now.

I will continue to do lots of writing this year but not write competitively. Not because I am disappointed. No; not at all. I am very pleased and proud that the two books I wrote in the last 12 months both reached the finals of two competitions. And that is enough for the moment. I now perceive a larger picture; God’s picture.

Writing to deadlines takes a lot of work and causes stress I don’t need. I’d do better to write at a slower pace. So I could pour more into my job. I shifted my perspective. CareLink First. Writing second. Or perhaps travelling side by side. I now have a brand new perspective on all of it - my God - my life - my work - my writing . And I am very excited.

What has my writing to do with pretty patterns in my kitchen sink? I was reminded that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Sometimes I don’t see that. But if I stop and allow God to show me – He does. It’s as simple as that.

Have you found any pretty patterns lately? If not in your kitchen sink – perhaps in cloud formations that graced your sky? Or somewhere deep within your spirit? Sometimes it’s hard to make any sense of life. But when we yield to His ways – enchanting patterns edged with grace and truth may pop in unannounced to surprise and delight us. May God use every circumstance in your life for good, today and always.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

The first Chapter of this year’s “Exciting Foot Adventure” was successfully concluded when I went for my 6 week check up recently. I was asked to first have an X-ray taken of my foot. So on a wet gray summer afternoon last week, I hobbled forth as instructed by my surgeon, to the Radiology department attached to the Memorial Hospital in Adelaide. A competent receptionist took down my details. I was half an hour early for my 1.30 p.m. appointment but was called in at once. The X-rays were taken by 1.15 p.m. – fifteen whole minutes before my appointment time. Talk of efficiency!

I sat in their waiting room for half an hour till the X-rays were developed so I could take them to my surgeon. I had my prayer diary and my mp3 player with me. So I contentedly absorbed myself in several moments of intercession coupled with a few moments of distraction with glad sounds of loud praise music reverberating in my ears all the while.

I noticed a busy Mum walking around in bright pink denims and a smart blue T shirt; a child’s small backpack slung across her shoulder. Behind her trailed a little girl. The little girl looked very cute. She was dressed in dark blue jeans and a soft white cotton blouse that had pretty embroidery on it. Her soft, blond hair was tied up in a small pony tail that got tossed sweetly from side to side as she walked. What grabbed my attention was how busy her Mum seemed to be (she was on the phone a good bit of the time) and how scant the attention she paid to her little girl.

What was interesting though was that the little girl did very well. She was a confident little person. She was unfazed even when her Mum disappeared from her vision as her Mum was apt to do. At one stage, Mum had gone outside talking on her mobile phone with not a backward glance to ensure that her daughter was still following her. The little girl was some distance behind, standing between two doorways.  The two doors behind her had closed. The two doors in front of her were still open.

The little girl took a few steps forward very slowly toward those open doors. They were the kind of doors which open as we approach them. These particular doors had opened for her Mum and continued staying open for several seconds while her daughter approached. But as the little one reached them, they suddenly and unexpectedly shut fast. I thought she’d be surprised or agitated. She was neither of those things. She knew what to do. She moved back a few steps. And then moved forward again. This time the doors opened for her.

I thought it remarkable that a three year old could have worked that out. And equally interesting was the fact that she wasn’t in the least bit worried that Mum was beyond her vision. The closing and opening action of the doors fascinated her. She wanted to test them out. So she walked backwards once again, keeping her eyes on the doors. Then she came forward till the doors opened. She did this a few times till her Mum called her. I must admit that my prayer time was halted for several moments as I watched her with a smile on my lips. It was a show worth watching and I’m sure God delighted in it too.

Sometimes we hit a brick wall don’t we? Life sends us a few live puzzles to work out. We think we are close to getting the answers we were searching for but suddenly without warning, a door slams shuts in our faces. What do we do then? Should we keep walking forward till we bang our heads on the closed door in front of us?

Or should we follow this little girl’s lead and instead take a few steps back?

Sometimes I need to wait. Wait for answers. Wait for the wrong door to close. Wait for the right door to open. If I keep walking towards my problem, the door only shuts tighter. And I will not find the solution I am looking for.

Thinking through the decision takes patience. Taking a few steps back takes strength. Waiting develops my character muscles. Being willing to do it God’s way takes courage. Re-thinking what I had assumed was right is not easy but sometimes the best way forward.

Sometimes my life is like a blind-folded wander through a confusing maze. I turn one way but find a closed door. I might need to backtrack my steps and then walk in a different direction altogether. Psychologists tell us that one sure thing about life is that it changes all the time. They also tell us that we do best when we adapt to change. Proverbs 3 verses 7 & 8 say this: “Do not be wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.”

"Do not be wise in your own eyes." I like to think I know it all. Don't you?

Sometimes, I lean on my own wisdom and I find it isn't enough. It's then that I realise how much I need His wisdom to help me maneuver myself through life’s intricate maze. If I try to walk through a closed door I will bang my head on it and might even fall down. Perhaps I should heed God’s whispers instead. His whispers might come through circumstances, through His word or through His soft voice within my heart. I should take a few steps back, lean on God, waiting expectantly and prayerfully for the right door to open at the right time.

“Do not be wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:7,8

My friend Janet is a beautiful lady with a large heart, a twinkle in her eyes and many surprises up her sleeve. She connects well with people of all ages from the littlest littlie the oldest oldie. She has faced life’s challenges with courage and fortitude. She works hard. She is a loving Mum and Grand Mum. She loves Jesus. Yes, Janet is very special. In case you think she is perfect, let me add that she is a tad forgetful. (But then, aren't we all?)

The other day, she’d ended an email to me rather interesting fashion. She hadn’t signed ‘Janet’ or ‘Jan’ as she usually does but instead:

                ‘Not an ‘It’. Perhaps a ‘She’ or a ‘Her’.

And so, when I signed off my response to her, I replied:

‘Definitely not an ‘It’. Perhaps not even a ‘She’ or a ‘Her’ either.

Maybe a Heffalump!

She responded at once. She said she’d had a belly laugh at my ending – a laugh she badly needed that day. That made me very happy.

Have you had a good belly laugh today? When did you last have one? Do you laugh often? And do you like making others laugh?

I have an early recollection of saying something funny – maybe when I was around eight or nine years old. My sister Ranmali burst into happy laughter in enjoyment of my little joke, whatever it was. I loved seeing her laugh. That memory has stayed with me all these years. I realised then what a big blessing it was to make another happy. I believe it birthed in me a desire to try to make others happy and to place a smile in their hearts.

Lately, I’ve been listening to an excellent audio book called ‘Spiritual Leadership’ by J. Oswald Sanders. I was delighted to find that one of the qualities suggested for leadership (along with other essential things like being filled with the Spirit, being a good listener and so on) was the necessity to have a fine sense of humour. He mentions how leaders who possess a good sense of humour bless those they lead. I fully agree. In fact, I believe that a sense of humour is an essential ingredient to a happy, fulfilling life. Laughter is often music to our ears. Laughter is also great therapy. There was a very difficult time in my life when a wise friend’s listening ears combined with her making me laugh, brought balm to my wounded heart. It taught me the value of laughter as a tool in managing sad emotions. Laughing at oneself is also something healthy to do isn’t it? Being able to lighten up and not take life too seriously is definitely a wise option.

I’ve just googled the word ‘Humour’ and here’s one definition which I liked. “the mental faculty of discovering, expressing, or appreciating the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous’. That was from the Merriam Webster Online dictionary.  That puts it very well doesn’t it? The mental faculty of discovering (YES!), expressing (YES again) or appreciating (YES) the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous.

Making me laugh is a good way to befriend me. I am usually attracted to people who have a good sense of humour. In turn, I would love to interject witticisms into daily conversation but alas – I often think of something appropriate only long after I should have said it. I would love to be funny; but don’t believe I am. I do enjoy the lighter side of life though and take pleasure in kidding about stuff as much as I benefit from the serious spiritual God-breathed aspects of life.

Unfortunately, we seem to put humour and spiritual concerns into two separate baskets, don’t we? And yet, humour is obviously very much a part of God’s Nature. He who created many funny creatures (some on two legs like myself) – surely has a wonderful sense of humour. Where else do we get our sense of the ridiculous from but from God Himself? We were obviously created with the capacity to enjoy the comic side of life. Joy and laughter are linked - laughter begets joy and joy begets laughter.

Little children laugh very easily, don’t they?. They find humour in every day life at the drop of a hat. I think we adults have sadly wandered off the beaten track and often forget to enjoy the funny side of life that was our birthright. Jesus is called ‘A Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief”. But I believe that that is only one aspect of the Jesus I know and love. He who understood sorrow also understood life in all its fullness. He knew how to laugh. I am sure of it. The Bible tells us that ‘A merry heart doeth good like medicine’.

Have you enjoyed a belly laugh today? Go on… find something to laugh about.

You may even come across a crazy Heffalump who will join you!

It sounded like a high school girls’ reunion. Raised voices, peals of laughter, chuckles…  noise. It was a reunion of sorts but not what you might expect. A few days ago, I attended my second post operative surgeon’s visit. As I hobbled into the building, a lady ahead of me kindly kept the lift door open for me. I went towards her as fast as I could – a painfully slow moving snail, sporting a large blue shoe. As we got inside the lift, I noticed an interesting fact. She too wore an identical shoe. She too had a long pin sticking out of her 2^nd toe as I did. We grinned at each other. It was good to meet a kindred spirit.

We went into the waiting room and made ourselves comfortable. Our happy conversation continued. ‘What? You too?’ was of course the basis of our chattering. She’d been operated 2 weeks after me – a feisty happy lady of around 65, with a great sense of humour and a positive attitude. I liked her on the spot. After awhile, she looked ahead and yelled a greeting. I turned my head and saw another lady hobbling towards us very slowly and in some pain. She wore not just one blue shoe but TWO! Both her feet had been operated on. Wow!

They fell on one another with great joy. It was a reunion. They had evidently been operated on at the same time and had been in adjacent rooms in the same hospital. The three of us compared notes on how we’d coped – the high spots, the low spots and all the spots in between. Two others who’d had come to for consultations also joined our exuberant conversation. We three learned ones who had been through it all before had knowing smiles and words of wisdom for them.

We predicted that one lady wouldn’t need an operation for many years yet while the other would need it at once. (Were we right? Of course we were!) The surgeon who walked by at some stage, turned his head in the direction of THE NOISE and couldn’t help smiling when he saw what was going on. I’d been quite nervous before I went in, wondering if the removal of my pins and stitches would be very painful. But you know what? In the unexpectedly interesting time of bonding with 4 other women – all strangers until that day – I didn’t have any time for nerves. There was too much happy reminiscing and sharing going on.

“What? YOU too?” Isn’t that an exciting base to stand on? I have made many friends from such a platform. Sharing ideas that are similar make bright lights go off in our heads, don’t they? Finding those of like mind or those who’ve been through similar experiences link us closely with them. Being able to empathise with another is always great therapy – not just for the one being listened to but also for the one who lends her listening ear. God has made us social creatures and we all need each other.

When my son was little, the shared experience of other Mums made our support group ‘Mum and Me’ a close knit, loving one. We didn’t feel alone in our parenting journey. We had many others who knew exactly what we were talking about. 20 years later we are still close and still interested in the 2 year olds of yesteryear who are now young men and women grown up and merrily abroad in the world.

When I learnt Computer Programming in my twenties – there was much enjoyment in getting together with many fresh young colleagues. Working together till late at night – bouncing off ideas – enjoying the excitement of learning new concepts together. It brought us close. Now, 30 years later, my Radio Shack friends and I still share a special bond. The friendships have lasted.

And then, deeper than all bonds I find, is the fellowship I enjoy with other believers. There’s that special unique spark of joy whenever I meet a fellow Disciple of Jesus. In April 1974 I attended my first YFC camp. My life hasn’t been the same since. The friendships I made with many others who also love, worship and follow the same God I do have forged many a precious link. That was almost 40 years ago. Those unique friendships have held me up and brought much richness into my life.

All of us human beings have shared experiences which bring us closer to one another. How is it then that we also fight and disagree with each other all too easily? Why does being right often take the precedence of nurturing the relationship? Why is it that there is slander and gossip, un-forgiveness or bickering? Misunderstanding and strife; words that hurt; actions that wound?

I wonder if the remedy needed to heal broken relationships would also be ‘What? YOU too”? Think of someone who has wronged you. Perhaps the secret of bridging the chasm of misunderstanding is to make much of the common elements in the friendship and make small the differences.

We are all the same inside. Sometimes lonely. Hurting. Shy. Vulnerable. Scared. Also glad. Confident. Joyful. Sociable. Sensitive. Caring. Often a pickle of emotions. But all of us are made by the same Creator and made in His image.

Perhaps we need to look past our differences? Perhaps we need to grab our shared experiences instead and all else we have in common. If we all did that, what a different world it would be!

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12-14

On a sweltering summer’s day last November, I had the privilege of attending a Chapel service at my son’s former school. Two other ladies from the church office I volunteer in also joined me. The purpose of our visit was twofold. The school children were donating gifts for the CareLink Christmas hampers. We went that day to accept their generous gifts; and to share with the school what CareLink was all about.

As I drove my little car Mitsy to the school car park, I looked around for a shady spot. I had to drive around a wee while before I spotted the perfect place for Mitsy. There it was - right by the shade of a tall, beautiful gum tree; the tree’s long leaf-laden branches providing plenty of shade and shelter. I moved my little car into the spot and got out. I hoped Mitsy would stay nice and cool for when I got back to it a couple of hours later.

My colleagues Janet, Maureen and I spent a happy morning at the Chapel service, delighted to join hands with the school in blessing our community together. As I walked back to my car afterwards, I had a smile on my face and glad warmth in my heart. But it wasn’t just my heart that was warmed as I walked in something like 40 degree heat. I hoped that Mitsy had stayed cool for me.

I got in and turned on the ignition. And then…. my smile got wider, like the proverbial Cheshire cat who’d drunk a saucer-ful of milk. Yes, finding that shady spot had worked wonders inside my little Mitsy. Usually when I get into my car during the summer, I find it heated beyond belief. This time it was refreshingly cool and my ride home wasn’t in sweltering heat. ‘Thank you, God’ I whispered.

As I turned towards home, I pondered on a fresh lesson I’d learnt that day. My comfort that day was my concern. If I’d parked elsewhere and had felt the heat badly, I’d have only myself to blame. It was up to me that day to look out for what I needed. I had to take the initiative in finding that shady park.

It made me reflect that my joy too is up to me. My happiness is not up to my circumstances or my world. It is not up to my parents, my spouse, my children, my friends or even my God. It is up to me to find and entertain my own happiness. Does that make sense?

Sometimes life is difficult. It is puzzling. People hurt us. Sickness hits us squarely on the head. Bad things happen. How do I respond to such times? I could choose to be a victim. And BE a victim. Or… I could… yes…..I could choose to dance in the rain. I could choose to make lemonade out of lemons. I could choose to enjoy the soft cool spring breezes of contentment rather than the hot sweltering summer winds of frustration. The choice is up to me. My happiness is in my own hands.

It took years of living before this truth dawned on me. I am grateful for those tough seasons which sharpened the edge of this reality; they helped tattoo the truth on my brain and to engrave it in my heart. The other day, as I was chatting with a young friend who is on the brink of getting married, I felt led to share something important.

I told her that no other person could be responsible for her happiness. She was surprised. ‘What do you mean?” she asked. I explained that when I was young, I’d often thought that it was up to my husband (when I got married) to make me happy. Right? Wrong! If I cannot be happy in myself, how could anyone else (apart from God) make me happy? Over the years as I matured, I learnt that in order to be happy in a relationship I need to be first, happy in myself. Then I can make another happy. Then I can also receive love and find even deeper joy.

I believe that when I am less dependant on others for my happiness – I set myself free to become a better spouse, a better Mum, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, a better colleague, a better person. When I hold myself responsible for my own joy – I don’t burden those closest to me with it. I then also set my circle of family and friends free to be all they were created to be.

Am I in need of a shady spot today? While it’s true that God sometimes sends those shady spots my way – there are many times when He asks me to look for them. So let me join hands with Him. A victim? No! A victor through Him that loved me.

Every time!

Especially when I grab the chance to even dance in the Rain!

Looking for a shady spot? I know that with God’s help you will surely find it.

As I leaned forward to reach for my pencil, I found myself looking at the little table next to my bed. The table is something new to our bedroom. A few weeks ago, while I was preparing for my operation; shopping for a few essential items, I came across this little table. It was very light and its legs folded over. A bedside table to keep a bottle of water and tumbler on? A surface to place a book on? A resting place for that needed box of tissues? Perhaps the perfect little acquisition I needed?

Hoping it wasn’t a waste of money; I purchased it quickly and brought it home. When my husband saw it, he fully agreed with me. And yes, it did prove to be useful. Useful? An understatement. Very useful! (Also an understatement) As I type this, I turn my head and look to my right. There it lies – my new small bedside table sporting many a colourful item. A tall gray plastic bottle filled with water, with a blue plastic cup beside it. A small yellow squeezy ball with “Smile Jesus loves you” plastered across it – which gives my hands some handy exercise while my body rests.

There’s my pen and pencil along with a collection of coloured pens for me to draw with and write with. My mobile phone. A pack of cards – in case someone likes to play cards with me. (Do you fancy a game?) My reading glasses. My prayer diary. My mp3 player. My pill box with a week’s supply of pills. A tiny pill box containing Vitamin C tablets in case my throat gets scratchy. A petite mirror so I can check my face when needed. A tube of lip balm. A pretty little hand fan for when I feel hot. A small bottle filled with beautifully scented perfume which I dab on myself when I wish to smell good.

A little notebook in which I can write my goals, plans and ideas. Another little book where I can jot down any God-thoughts when they happen to strike me. A bookmark to insert inside the next book I shall read. A little card which says ‘Whatever’ in large letters followed by “And whatever things you ask in prayer believing you will receive.” Mathew 21:21, 22 – to spur me on as I pray. There’s more. But I shan’t bore you with more details!

That is of course if I haven’t bored you already.

My little table is crammed full, with a variety of interesting things – all very handy for my use as I lie in bed all day long. A few days ago, I decided I’d take a picture of it. I suspected that there might be a blog in there somewhere. So I grabbed my camera and took my picture. When I downloaded it onto my laptop, I noticed at once something that was glaringly obvious. The picture didn’t portray all the items on the table. In fact, the Most Important Item could hardly be noticed. It was crowded out – or that’s how it seemed.

What was that Most Important Item? My Bible. Can you see it? There’s a reason why the picture doesn’t display it noticeably. I’m usually propped on pillows at my bed head, close to the right of the table. So my attempts at taking a picture of the whole table had resulted in the right part of the table being photographed. The poor little left side had received step-motherly treatment. That’s my excuse.

But yes, it did look as if my Bible was being crowded out.

You and I sometimes crowd important things out of our lives don’t we? We may mean well. But due to extra pressures, a busy life or tough seasons, those vitally important relationships or vitally important activities sadly get squeezed out.

The latter part of last year was an exceptionally busy time in my life. I found myself with too much to contend with. And so unfortunately the most important things in my life did get crowded out. My time with God is usually my number 1 priority. But during that season I am ashamed to admit that it often got crowded out. Not that it was completely shelved. Oh no! But I was unable to have those long lovely extended times with God that are always manna for my hungry soul. And what happened? My stress levels rose. My soul wilted.

What are the important things in your life? Time with your loved ones? Time with God? Helping others? Working hard? Standing up for injustice? Looking after your family? Being there for your family and friends? Hearing from God? Or something totally different?

During the past few weeks, I’ve deeply enjoyed my enforced bed-rest. I’ve been able to spend many refreshing times daily with my Father God. How wonderful it’s been! Those special times with God are a must and a practice I must continue even when life picks up its speed again.

After all, I should never forget that the main thing is to……..….

Keep the Main thing, the Main thing!

“But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” Mathew 6:33

In case you wonder if I am obsessed with my foot, let me set your mind at rest. I don’t think I am!  I don’t believe I am! In case you wonder if I am writing yet another blog about my foot, you can sink back on your chair with relief. Let me assure you that my title is simply a figure of speech. I decided it would be rather innovative to sport another title involving my foot this week as well, just for the fun of it.

After all, my amazing, corrected, recovering right foot is constantly before me in all its glory, wrapped up finely in many layers of crepe bandage; stuck together by plenty of sticking plaster; held firmly by two large pins; all of it covered satisfactorily by a true blue (my favourite colour! Perhaps the surgeon ordered it in THAT colour especially for me?) shoe!
 

One foot in both camps? Aha! There could be more than just one kind of foot saga afoot you know…..! So tighten your seatbelts, take a deep breath and we shall be off - tramping boldly in long stockings and gum boots into yet another blogging adventure in the life of ACA.

Two days ago we in the Great Southland of the Holy Spirit celebrated Australia day. What is Australia Day? Australia day, celebrated on Jan 26^th every year, commemorates the day the first fleet arrived in Port Jackson in 1778. The day has other names attached to it– Anniversary day, Invasion Day, Foundation Day and Survival Day being some of them. This momentous date is widely celebrated by Australians with picnics, barbecues, citizenship ceremonies, street parades, often ending with spectacular fireworks. A day it is to reflect on our heritage. A day it is to be immensely grateful for this beautiful land that many of us from many diverse cultures are blessed to call our home.

In January 1999, my own little family migrated to Australia, leaving our then war torn country for a more secure future. The past 14 years have sped by on eagle’s wings and we haven’t looked back. When we arrived in this special Land Down Under, our son Asela was only 8 years old – an excited exuberant little boy with most of his boyhood ahead of him. Now, he’s 22 years old – a tall quiet, handsome, young man sporting a beard and studying for a degree in Computer science. Where has the time gone?

Australia has welcomed us into her borders. We are very grateful for the many splendid opportunities she has afforded us and for the good life we have enjoyed here. We’ve been deeply blessed to spread our roots in this amazing land of exotic beaches and starlit skies, of wide open plains and endearing koala bears, of red sands and kookaburras. We have been greatly enriched as we made friends with many lovely people and learnt interesting facets about the fascinating Aussie culture. Life here is wonderful and I thank God for it every day.

Shan, Asela and I have been Australian citizens for almost 11 years. We are also Sri Lankan citizens. So we have two sets of passports; two countries we call home. Many precious friends in Sri Lanka and many precious friends here in Australia. When we travel to Sri Lanka, we are glad to return home to our extended families and to our friends in the country of our birth. But when we come back to Australia, then too, we are pleased to return home to our home away from home. (Or was it the other way around? Had we just returned from that home away from home?)

Two Homes. Two Countries. Two Identities. Citizens of two countries. Does that sound familiar? It came home to me the other day that my family’s sojourn in a home away from home is very much like the spiritual sojourn of us Christians. We who are Disciples of Jesus are in this world but not of it. We are citizens of this world but we are also citizens of another “country”. We live in this world but our values, our hopes, our dreams, our expectations, our actions are all based on the laws of another Land.

As Christians, we have a dual responsibility. To live with integrity and courage in this fallen world; but not to be tainted by its erroneous philosophies. To bear the name of Christian; but to act for the good of all mankind. To follow our Risen Saviour; but to live in a culture that has forgotten their Saviour.

Sometimes it is an enormous challenge to know what God requires of me. How do I balance what it means to be His child with all that goes on around me? How do I stay true to my calling but also empathise with those around me, those who have no inkling of God and His ways? How do I please Him and yet fit into the society I live in?

Have you heard that one can be ‘too heavenly minded for any earthly use”? How do I stay heavenly minded enough so I am useful in God’s kingdom and also in this presednt world? I think the secret is in listening to God. If I am in tune with Him and His desires, I believe His Direction and Guidance will keep me within the boundaries of where I should be and how I should live.

One foot in two camps? Could such feet march to the required drumbeat of both camps?

Let me follow His lead and seek His ways. Let me pray and live as He taught us.

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your Name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Mathew 6:9

I’ve just spent two days experiencing much kindness at the hands of complete strangers. Two days in hospital – being totally dependent on others for all of my needs; not even able to get to the toilet on my own or to pick up a wandering hairbrush when it fell off my hospital bed. The doctors and nurses were very good to me. Yes, I had to stop my active life for awhile and stay flat on my back. Yes, I experienced much pain and discomfort. But I was operated on by a skilful surgeon, enjoyed a comfortable stay in a good hospital; had healthy, delicious meals served me regularly. Most important of all, was the expert care I received from trained nurses. They came very willingly to help me whenever I summoned them by the ringing of a bell. My time in hospital would not have been the same if not for the kind Abbies and Kristens, Cynthias and Annettes who were around to help me with a ready smile; with hands and feet that tapped to the beat of a special drum – that of helping those who were sick and helpless. And so two very difficult days in the life and times of Anusha Chandrika Atukorala were turned into days filled with much blessing.

Have you discovered how much power there is in kindness?

I've also spent the last week being wrapped up beautifully in the love of community. My hard working husband is getting the laundry in as I type these words. He’s been extremely busy ensuring that our home fires are burning brightly and that I am well looked after. My son is chipping in often, doing his bit. My immediate family, my extended family, my close friends, my church friends, my facebook friends, my friends far and near have all rallied around me as I sailed forth to have my operation. Their wishes and concern warmed me. They have been calling me, emailing me, praying for me, praying with me, inquiring after me, and making me feel I am loved. I've appreciated the sense of community behind me during what could be a very tough time. That sense of community has transformed a difficult experience into something good and wholesome. It’s a season where I feel carried by the prayers of many.  

Have you discovered how much power there is in community?

Sleeping when in pain is not something easy to do. Agreed? The first night after my operation was a long one. It was packed with sleepless moments and remarkably painful ones. Nurses woke me every few hours to check my blood pressure and pulse. I was not allowed to sink blissfully into a deep sleep. My foot hurt like crazy. I felt very uncomfortable.

And so, on my second day in hospital, I put out my reading light by 9.30 p.m. hoping I’d have an easier night than the preceding one. But to begin with, it was so much worse. I can’t truthfully say that I tossed and turned because I was not allowed to toss and turn. I have strict doctor’s orders to stay put on my back with my foot up on a pillow 24/7 for the next two weeks. It is no easy task for me because I usually sleep on my side. And so that day, I just couldn’t fall sleep. The pain I experienced was overpowering. There was no way I could relax enough to fall asleep with the foot crying out in pain like a man being mauled by a vicious crocodile on the river Nile! (Perhaps I am exaggerating… just a wee bit!) There was no use seeking help in medication - two lots of painkillers had already been administered by a caring nurse.

I realised what I needed. I needed prayer. And I needed it quickly. I thought for a moment. It was then 10.30 p.m. Too late to bother anyone in Australia. But Sri Lanka was five hours behind. And so I sent a text message to a special someone in Sri Lanka who has faithfully upheld me in prayer from well before I went into hospital - my beloved  niece Ashi. Immediately she texted back. She told me that she’d just prayed for me. She also assured me she would keep praying. Which she did. What did I do then? I asked the nurse about more pain relief. Then I fell asleep. Just like that.

By the time the nurse came back with her answer, I was sound asleep. I slept from 10.45 p.m. till 5 a.m. I could have slept even longer if my bursting bladder didn’t pressurise me to request an urgent trip to the loo on a hospital wheelchair. I was truly amazed. More than 6 precious hours of sleep. Wonderful! I wrote to Ashi telling her that her prayers had great power. It was a big miracle. (Thanks GG. I am very grateful.)

Have you discovered the amazing power of prayer?

And so this past week I have re-discovered with great joy the unstoppable power of KINDNESS, the immense power of COMMUNITY and the immeasurable power of PRAYER.

Lord, make me kind;

Lord help me bless my community;

Lord, teach me to pray.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20,21