A Grey Day
Last Tuesday was a grey day – it was grey without; it was grey within. When I woke up, the sky looked overcast. A few drops of rain fell softly as more rain clouds gathered, casting shadows over my garden. My recent season of loss had resulted in pain, sadness and tears. I was off to the village for the first time in 9 weeks which should have made me very happy. But my heart wasn’t singing as usual. The day’s somber colours matched my dark mood; like a coat that was too large and too heavy on my shoulders.
I got into my car, turned on the ignition and sped off to the village. Two hours later, I was done - my scraggly tresses trimmed beautifully by Franco my faithful Italian barber. I’d bought a few necessities. I’d smiled and talked to folk at the shopping centre. But inside me I was still sad and dejected. A deep grey inside. Yes, it was still a grey day.
As I emerged outdoors however I looked around in surprise. A few hours earlier when I’d entered the shopping centre, my surroundings had been dressed in dark clothes of mourning. Now it had changed into bright summer attire – with golden sunbeams dancing far and wide. I was happily surprised. On one side of the sky were still numerous grey clouds. But the other side was completely different. It was filled with the brightness of the sun; plenty of blue sky in its wake with a few soft white cotton clouds ambling along.
It was then God spoke to me. “My child, you could choose to focus on your losses or you could choose to focus on all you have left. Which would you choose?” I listened to Him. He was right. I was silly to gaze at my losses. What I had left was more than I needed. An awesome, loving family; a comfortable home, food to eat, clothes to wear, friends who cared, eyes to see His world, ears to hear God's music, feet to (almost) dance with…. All I needed. And more. Much more than I deserved.
I also had sunshine, hope, Jesus, the Word to savour, blogs to write, books to read, God’s beautiful creation to enjoy. Life in all its fullness. That evening as I wended my way on my evening walk, I discovered more joys to delight in. The deep lush green of the Oval grass, beautiful blue green mountains in the distance, a dark sky glowing with a hidden sun all breathed life and hope to my spirit. “Yes Lord” I whispered. ‘Thank you for showing me how rich I am. Thank you so much.”
I returned home. Out by our front door - the sky was still grey. But when I stepped out of my back door I found that a thrilling sky-show was in progress – what a glorious sunset it was! The grey clouds were still abundant. But they now contrasted beautifully with radiant orange clouds. I was mesmerized. I rushed indoors to grab my camera. I clicked that camera many times over. And then, I stored all of that beauty within my heart as I breathed another ‘thank you’ to my awesome Creator.
The choice continues to be mine today. As it does every day of my life. I can always choose what I focus on. Sorrows or Joys; losses or gains; what I don’t have or what I do. Jesus asks me to loosen my grip on the things that matter to me. It’s only then He can fill my hands with His own treasures. Some days are grey days. But the glad truth is that with Jesus as Lord and Saviour and King, even my grey days become ‘Yay- days’ as I walk with Him with a steadfast spirit, eyes of faith and a heart that clings to Him.
On what shall I gaze today?
At my losses? Or upon my gains?
At yesterday’s sorrows? Or on tomorrow’s hope?
At the distracting world around me? Or upon the loving face of Jesus?
“Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Philippians 4:8